Who’s your heroine?
Consider a favorite heroine or hero. For example author Anchee Min’s bestseller, Empress Orchid and her follow up, The Last Empress, tells the story of a poor girl from countryside of China who was chosen to be an Imperial concubine and eventually became an Empress. Public history has demonized this last empress, and Min endeavors to re-set history through scrupulous research and a magical retelling of the story of the woman who became the most powerful ruler of China and was perhaps the first feminist. The complexity of the story and the detail of Min’s writing reveals a woman of incredible determination, dedication, and fascination. And, a study of author Min herself actually reveals the same. When reading Min’s books, I found myself unable to put them down and full of inspiration in so many ways. All this to say, both the Empress and Min are current heroines of mine. By identifying your personal heroine(s) or hero(s), you can bring to light qualities and values that you currently hold high and feel inspired to instill in your own life. This information can then be transported into your vows.
Example: I’ve identified "determination, dedication, and fascination" as values in these heroines that I admire. So, in writing my vows, I’d think about how I can use these very words and might come up with something like this: "In our life together, I will bring great determination to many things: to bettering myself as an individual; to carrying out our shared goals; and to facing challenges that arise. I want to make apparent my dedication to this promise through considered daily action that reflects strength of character. This is a priority to me, because there is nothing more important than my love for you and always proving myself worthy of your love."